Time flies and so do memories but the pen captures it all......

Sunday, April 10, 2011

A Girl I Love

"Where there is the greatest love, there are always miracles." - Willa Cather

In the beginning I didn't know what was happening with me because it was the beginning when everything happened. Whether it was love or a miracle, I still don't know. The first time I saw her, she saw me too. Straight in the eyes. And it was that very moment it happened. Love? Miracle? I really don't know. She walked towards me, carrying herself in a composed way. A bit professionally but I was staring at her like an angel came down on earth. I knew nothing of what she was talking about because I only kept on staring and staring and staring. When she left I didn't know whether we would meet again or not. I refrained myself from thinking about her but James Blunt kept playing in my head, "My life is brilliant. My love is pure. I saw an angel. Of that I'm sure..."

It took another month for destiny to make us meet again. I saw her daily but she didn't. She was scared, of the world around her. She was lonely in herself. It was like the world against her. But I was selfish; more than all this what I saw was her prettiness. I would lose a breath, skip a beat. Destiny on the other hand was lazing around. She took a few more months to open the gates of my expressiveness. I wonder if it was a deliberate slow play of destiny. Eventually I started to talk to her only to realize that she was altogether in a different world. This was the time, I almost gave up on her. But no! We were destined to happen and we happened. Since we happened it has always been we instead of I and me. Someone said that it's the luckiest honour to be loved by someone you love. And yes, she loved me too.

The happiest days of my life were just about to begin, 1+1=3 had just happened. Somehow, it was still the world against her but this time I was with her. Not surprisingly though, I was just loving my new side. I thought I'd change with her and this was something I feared. But I never knew that it was eventually going to be really great. As we started the journey together, one big problem I found in her was her inability to express. She would only express her angst she had with the world who was standing against her. But I would never know that I'm being loved as I'm a person who needs to be reminded every now and then. Although, this pain was only short lived. She was only unable to express through words and I realized it only lately about her ways of expression. The way she smiles at me, the way she looks at me when in trouble, the way she holds my hand, the way she laughs when with me, the way she talks to me endlessly as if it's our last day on earth (the fact being that I still don't listen and keep on staring and staring and staring), etc. are only few of her ways to express her love for me.

Every so often, I ponder whether we'll be there with each other for life or not and I remember how slowly destiny played while getting us together. One thing I always lacked was confidence in myself and for this my angel has been paying all along. I knew she loved me but couldn't believe myself. And this, created turbulence between me and her. And these were the times it again became me and her from we and us. Such times came and went and will still come and I know they'll go. Only thing I pray to god is that my angel be held by my side on any such occasions.

It took me nine months to realize what it is all about. It took me nine months to realize that this girl was my miracle and it was love. She, being, a girl I love.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

It was a Re-Birth

Do you believe in re-births? You might not but I do. Being a sensitive person at heart, "friends" doing so much on my 19th birthday is surely to knock me down. Everyone knows I'm a loner and my loneliness has been cut down very very recently and I thank god for that. But like all other birthdays, I hoped to spend this one alone considering the fact that I'm no more between my family. All was going well as expected. I got "myself" a couple of pastries and was celebrating with "myself" as my sister called up. Talking, talking, pastry eating. Suddenly, DHAP happens and door opens. Entered the last people I expected on this earth to turn up. Abhinandan, Vedansh, Arpan,, Ahmar, Kunal and Divesh.

Abhi left me a tweet mention at about 2300 hours saying he might not survive till midnight. Vedansh and I were in a spat and weren't even on talking terms. Kunal and Divesh must surely have had other priorities and Arpan and Ahmar mustn't have known my birthday at all. But Bazinga! They came. I was taken aback! And as I cut the various cakes they brought, I couldn't stop smiling. Some of the best things were happening in my life. And they were just happening, I wasn't making them happen. A couple of calls at the night and I couldn't hold myself. It does happen every year. It's just one day but people make you feel so special but then it's just one day, isn't it? I removed my birthday from my facebook just to see how many people would remember or rather care to know when my birthday is. Many people came up with unexpected results, both good and bad.

The day came, morning. College! People had actually got me gifts, memorabilia. A ball and a greeting card from Nitasha, a Pineapple from Avani (this one's got a story) and a lovely Tee from Hita. I couldn't help but smiling all day. I called for a treat at. as always anticipated, CadB. 18 of the handpicked people I've met at SIMC. All of them who have stood by me at some point in a dismay. Caused a complete ballyhoo there, I was just loving it. Another thing that came up unexpectedly was a mug. I had imagined one for Abhi's birthday but he was a step ahead and I was born 4 months ahead of him so can't blame anyone. A mug with a picture of mines and a text on it. All ended at CadB on a wonderful note.

Next I had another great dinner lined up with three of the best people I currently have with me. With all the three loving me. Three people defying mathematics to sum up 1+1=3. That turned out to be the best dinner of my life till date. A day full of unexpected realities.

I could just sing myself the Green Day song:

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

No wonder it was the official entry to the last year of my teenage and hence called for a huge celebration which was there but more than that, it was a step away from a being I know and a step forward towards a person I don't know.

Any doubts? Was it anything but a rebirth?